the weather inside me

the pisces-saturn flashback wierding

I'm channeling Earth, Wind, and Fire. You know --the band. Last night was trying to relax with this meditation tape of running water and kept getting strains of a brass section I KNOW isn't on the tape, but holy satin spandex! It was the brass section from Earth, Wind, and Fire!

I know. So distracting. Not meditative at all.

And dreamed all night that I could hear things through solid objects. My pillow was no help because I kept hearing someone else's conversation through it.

I had this same problem last fall while listening to a Glenn Gould album. I kept hearing this cantor on some of the tracks. How he got there I have no idea. He was a nice cantor, but the experience was a whole lot like "The Kugelmass Episode" from Woody Allen's Side Effects. Ditto last night's brass section.

[Update: a friend just informed me about Gould's humming habit when he played. Okay. So that's what I was hearing. Thank you. Now can you explain the brass section?]

So of course today I had to poke around on you tube for a lil' EWF. Sigh. Ooh. Yeah. And what did I find? This fabulously cheeeeeesey scene from the embarrassing Sargent Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, the movie. I may have been young, but I these were my Beatles obsession years and even I knew the movie sucked. Except for this great scene. Cheese tho' it may be. And then a surprising synchronicity. The date of the movie: 1978.

Saturn was last in Virgo 2007-2009, before that 1977-80 and then in Libra '80-'82/3. This is a 30 year cycle, and we're back there again --Virgo and Libra.

Saturn is retrograde in Libra, moving back to another month or so in Virgo, and with all this free-associating Pisces stuff in the water, suddenly I'm channeling my early adolescence again. Heavy Metal, anyone? (Dear lord, I had no idea how many SCTV folk were a part of that venture.) Or how about a little Xanadu? (And the death of ELO.) Talk about two ends of a fantasy spectrum. Wow. 

This was the era in which my mother lost all censorship rights when she got someone (a neighbor kid?) to (illegally) hook up to the new cable box behind someone's house. Free cable! Which meant free HBO. Whoa.

Enter the Chicago WGN station and reruns of Monty Python...and Caddyshack...and The Shining...and Ice Castles...somebody stop me now...I'm rarely the one to wax nostalgically...

What were you up to these years?

the story so far...the (long) late february 2010 overview

If you're just joining us, here’s a summary on the current long and mid-term astro scene:

Pluto-Saturn square: it’s still on --the hard realities, the call to courage, the fear, the projecting of shadows-- but Saturn’s moving back into the Virgo degrees, so we’re just getting a second look at relationship “stuff” that popped up since last October. Count it a second chance at important conversations and decisions.

Neptune-Chiron in Aquarius: the end of an era, or as Gawker proclaimed it, “The Fake Decade”. Finally, we're getting it. Chiron’s not done with his work here, but these past few weeks have certainly given me some unusual views into inconvenient “truths”. And talk about a wild dream life. Oy. I need a break.

Jupiter in Pisces: Connections, identifications, and professions with and of encouragement and hope are totally available if you want them. As are big creative possibilities. Can you be the bigger person? Sure you can. (As I type this, I’m listening to Alan Simpson joking it was time to hold hands and jump into the wine-dark sea --of the budget deficit. Poetic water imagery as political threat? Only with Pisces.)

Avoid the paranoid and the generally detached from reality. This is the dark side of Pisces and not a comment on Mr. Simpson. Uranus in Pisces (at the end of the sign, now at 25+ degrees), is pulling punches with those teetering on the edge of the Fear Abyss. A lot people are completely convinced this is the end of the world. No, it's just the end of the world as they know it, a fact that's microcosmically true every day of our lives. Still, we can't ignore the big, big challenges we face as a country. It's just that fear is not gonna get us closer to a sane deficit, safe highways, or decent health care for all.

On a related note: if you’re a Pisces or have personal planets in Pisces, take care with substances this year--right on down to caffeine, MSG, BHT and food coloring. I’m serious.

And finally, Mars, still retrograde in Leo: Mars is really slowing down now, and by the full moon on the 28th will have reached it’s retrograde direct degree. So if you feel some kind of gear grinding or stuckness, that would be Mars. Ditto big case of anticipation. This is all about going backstage and reworking your self image. (My original horoscopes on the retrograde are here and here.) What you're feeling could be a case of stage fright, or could be a case of retrenchment before the big advance come March. Circumstances vary.

If you know where Mars is passing through your chart, just ease up on yourself in that area. Strategize, visualize. Play with any new ideas that popped up with the Neptune/Chiron bingle last week AND the Full Moon in Leo in mid-January. What do you want to do with that new knowledge?

Strangely, if we’re not handling our own nervousness or irritation well, we seem to invite similarly nervous, irritating people into our lives. Not always true, but you could play with that idea and observe other people’s responses to your energy right now.

A note to men, or anyone who cares about a man: I'm not a guy, nor do I play one on TV, so I'm not gonna pretend I know what this feel like for you. My thoughts are based on my own reading, and the thoughts shared by men at other serious astrology forums.

Mars retrograde is especially challenging for men; after all, Mars is THE planet of the male impulse, the anima, the dude in you. Here’s the bottom line: the man in your life (could be you!) may or may not know what Mars retrograde is doing, but it's affecting him nonetheless --rearranging his ego, his self-image, his heart, his leadership instincts, his pride for his pride (or whatever substitutes for his creative output, progeny or no).

Mars retrograde is all backwards and inhibiting, frustrating and often confusing for many men. You could be angry, frustrated, scattered, inconsistent, or distant --really, really distant. Especially now as we approach the incredibly slow stationing direct motion. Imagine trying to save the damsel in distress who's stranded on the opposite side of a molasses pit. And the molasses pit is your expectations about what guys should do, could do, did do --starting with your dad and then every significant male authority figure you've known in your life. Now imagine how difficult this time could be if you never really had a solid male figure who taught you what to do when damsels lie on the other side of molasses pits. McGuyver never had it so bad. This "self" thing won't get fixed with a Leatherman, some chewing gum and three paper clips. Think about that for a moment.

If the man in your life doesn’t know what’s going on, or they’re resistant to introspection, you get a guy who needs to take on the world instead of himself. This might get internalized as heart problems; Leo rules the heart. As Leo practically grinds to a halt, Evan Bayh announced today that he’s lost heart in his work in the Senate and will retire. This is not good for the already straggling Democrat majority in the Senate.

The WORST example of this impulse also showed up in the news today: Andrew Stack, an enraged, suicidal man (badly managed Mars retrograde?) who’s sense of manhood and pride (Leo) was threatened by the limitations (Saturn) imposed by a government (Pluto in Capricorn) agency, the IRS, flew his personal airplane into an IRS office.

No doubt his actions were exacerbated by feelings of paranoia and doom emerging from those who’ve been embracing the end of the world (Uranus in Pisces) scenarios. He's not the first man who's wanted to take on the IRS with violence, but as we're revisiting a Saturn-Pluto alignment that last appeared fall of 2001, I'm saddened but not shocked that Stack chose to mimic the violence of that tragedy by flying his plane into an IRS office in Austin, Texas. Note --this was his own Piper airplane, and thus, he was not one of the huddled masses spewing underclass resentment. This was a wealthy guy by any standard. Do you have Piper small craft docked in your local airport hanger?

On that note, I looked at Glenn Beck’s astrology last week. He’s got Venus at 29+ degrees Pisces, the last degree of the zodiac, aka, the end of the world (sort of). In short, he’s in love with the end of the world. Yes. Have a look at his wiki and you’ll see a guy obsessed with eschatology. We'll hear much more about his obsession come spring. Bank on it.

Sigh. So play safe out there folks. You don’t have to be paranoid. You don’t have to push people around. I know so many people who are experimenting with huge new possibilities for their lives. Really big thoughts. I've got one friend who was making good money as a black-jack dealer, but she's leaving the industry to work at a raw-food retreat. She'd been wanting to walk away, but it wasn't until she broke her wrist in four places over the January eclipse that the decision was forced on her. A break like that is a career ender for a card dealer. But the end didn't start there: as she became mentally and emotionally more stable, her tips took a nose dive and she knew why --unhealthy people only reward their own kind. She's a Cancer rising, so Leo is working through her second house of money and self-esteem.

If you're moving towards healthier self-esteem, know that some people will find this a turn-off and not know why. They would prefer you functioning as their food source for whatever emotional, financial, or practical service you give them. And you're gonna catch some flak for this. For my friend, this translated into lost income. If you're hanging with people who pay you for being as immature, selfish, and needy as they are, you're going to face a loss of something --a contract, a contact? Or you may face losing old friends. These are not easy losses at first because they represent an old image you've probably carried with you for years. But this whole year is forcing all of us to rethink the old ways. Those who refuse to change won't be any fun to hang with anyway. Keep that in mind as you grow and experiment with the new you.

The time is also exciting because it presents the kind of risks that demand truly creative thinking and not a little paradigm shifting/shattering going on in that mix. But the risk doesn’t disappear just because the adventure holds happy possibility. So compassion is very much in need right now, too. Compassion that entends both ways --to you and to those around you-- and patience.

In that spirit, I’m taking a few days off from this blog to address some work at my side. One project is a revamp of this site, another some notes for the upcoming NCGR conference...and then daily ephemera and sticky fingerprints that come with motherhood. I need to shift my focus for a bit. Maybe I'll actually go for a walk. What a thought.

I’ll be back before the Full Moon to talk about the Venus-Uranus conjunction and early March events.

Until then, have a visit with any of the forecasters on my link list. They’re good people who’ll be happy to serve your astro needs.

Ciao.

Art: lisacongdon.com

Photo: seattlepi.com

All other photos: Philippe Halsman

renounce

Today Venus and Jupiter hold hands together at 7 degrees Pisces. The image for that degree shows a wooden cross thrown upon a rocky shore; the key word is "renunciation". Oh, joy. This, on the eve of Ash Wednesday and Lent.

But this brings to mind a conversation I had with a client a couple of weeks ago. We were doing my usual thing at the beginning of a consultation, which is to review a few dates that usually turn out to have significance to the client. I'm almost always impressed with what folks tell me, but this one was a particularly fun moment:

"So what was going on in your life in '68/'69?"

"Oh. Well. That was my first year in college and --oh, my god. That was the year I had a vision of St. Francis of Assisi! It was amazing; I'll never forget it. He was holding out his arms wide and looking at me with those intense, dark, iconic eyes, saying, 'Renounce! Renounce! Renounce!' It was terrifying. And I thought, 'What's St. Francis doing in the dorm room of a nice Jewish girl like me?"

We both crack up.

"And that was before the sex and the drugs! I didn't have anything to renounce!"

We crack up again.

"But you know, we were really into Marxism and the idea of violent revolution and 'the struggle' in those days, and St. Francis did give up his wealth to help the poor, I know."

Days later it occurred to me some sort of conflation was possibly going on there, in my head or hers. Renouncing isn't the same as denouncing. What students were doing back then was denouncing a system and a set of values they felt was invalid, in fact harmful to ordinary people. Denouncing is a kind of shaming, though. It assumes an act of judgment and engages the element it judges. We march in the streets and pull down the posters and paraphernalia of the corrupt element. We shake our fists and shout. We recognize our anger and make it plain to the world.

Renouncing, however, turns away from the object it no longer values. Call it a judgment, if you want, but renunciation's power lies in disengagement. We slough off the element like brushing away dead skin cells to let our bodies breathe again. Turn away. Turn to different work, different feelings, different people. Renunciation simply says, "I don't need this anymore."

"Making one's own wounds a source of healing . . . does not call for a sharing of superficial personal pains but for a constant willingness to see one's own pain and suffering as rising from the depth of the human condition." - Henri J. M. Nouwen, The Wounded Healer

Today is not a day to debate the efficacy and place for denunciation vs. renunciation. We're in Piscesland right now, and this is renunciation's territory. It's a day for letting one's own pain and suffering rise from the depth of your human condition --and then letting it drift away. Pisces has the blessed gift of simply swimming away into the starry midnight ocean of Forever, forgetting entirely what the argument was about in the first place.

Those of us who like things defined and settled tend to find this annoying. But, you know, the indefinite void of Forever and Forgotten is a different sort of definition. It's definitely gone, gone, gone. Whatever it was. I can go with that settlement.

If you could say, "I don't need this anymore" about something today, what would it be? And then what would it take for you to allow it to go away forever and ever? If ever there was a day you could take a breath and turn away from that unhelpful, entangling or toxic thought, emotion, person, or behavior, this is a good day to do it.

And don't forget: nature does abhorr a vacuum, so fill that new empty spot. Pisces lets things drift into our lives as much as it lets stuff drift away. Likely there's something very good and positive at hand in your life right now. You know what it is. If it's good, don't let it drift by on this stream. Reach out and grab it today.

Poster: Zefferelli's Brother Sun, Sister Moon , the 1972 film about Francis of Assisi (for you, S.)

maybe not the best morning to do drugs

...in case you were looking for somethun' a little unusual with your Lucky Charms today.

Our lingering Pisces Moon will bump into that Uranus at the end of his long, strange seven year trip through Pisces. This is a great for brilliant inspirations, but hell on the paranoid. If your co-worker today spills their latest theories on why pygmy aliens are taking over the Library of Congress, you don't have to ask what they had for breakfast. Just assume. For some of us, just the food coloring in those Lucky Charms is enough to set off a reaction. Eat safely, kids.

moving away from group shaming

Venus is finally moving away from the Nessus/Neptune conjunction in Aquarius. These three met over the weekend, and talked about how much it hurts to always feel like the weirdo and the un-pretty one.

There's nothing like being an outcast.

I say this as the girl who chose to do her sophomore year biology class oral report on sexually transmitted diseases. By the time I was sixteen I'd decided that if I was always going to be the one left out of the kick-ball game, I might as well use my time for more productive purposes. Like being able to say "penis" in front of a class full of 15 and 16 year olds and my teacher without giggling.

Being an outcast can have its benefits. One of them is, you get to think and do things other people are too fearful or embarrassed to approach. But somebody has to say "boo".

Sometime in my twenties I lost that edge. I adopted a kind of group shame, I suppose. I became aware that some standard applied to the sex experience. Problem was, I couldn't figure out what "good sex" was supposed to be, and everyone around me was just as clueless as I was. I had become sexually active --though just barely-- and all that earlier bravado vanished. No longer was sexuality an abstraction to talk about, I had to apply my knowledge in situ. More importantly, I had to face emotional intimacy. That was a whole 'nuther truckload of duckies.

As confused as I was about what I wanted with sex, I had even fewer positive (read: realistic) examples of emotional intimacy. Not surprisingly, sex --the rite of adulthood and independence-- was disappointing and emotionally disorienting. Not as much fun as I had hoped.

Then my body changed. I had a baby, and my body changed again. And I moved to a socially conservative part of the world. Somewhere in that time I split away from my emotions, and then, urged on by the assumptions and temperament of my peers in the community, split away from my body, too.

But my world wasn't much different that yours. We had our pure pilates princesses (throw in your yoga queens where you are) and then there was everyone else. Everyone else had too little time and too many obligations on their hands to bother much with perfect bodies. Some of us obsessed about cellulite, but I gave up on the whole thing. Geez, just enjoy that slice of cake, girl.

I was an outcast because I took on more than a sliver of cake and then dared to openly enjoy it.

Then Pluto arrived. My Pluto/Moon transit pulled all that old stuff straight to the surface. I found that old bravado, and a bit of that old audacity and curiosity. A Pluto transit will definitely push your sex buttons, some of which may not have felt any pressure in ages.

Enter Planet Waves. I really have to thank Eric for the honesty and frankness of his dedication to sex education and the restoration of authentic sexual curiosity and expression. He's not a technician of sex; he and his team of writers always bring emotion, spirit and playfulness into the picture. I'm not into everything he's into, but I know he's not gonna shame me for my reservations. He's not that kind of rebel.

I haven't answered all my old questions about good sex, nor have I entirely shed my body fat/good cake dilemma but I have traveled MILES toward a healthier mental self-concept about sex. Which is where sex starts --in your head. It's good to get the plumbing up there somewhat cleared before you engage the plumbing below.

I've also traveled miles in my mind another way: I'm willing once again to assert my differences. I don't expect what turns me on will turn you on. Yet, I'm not willing to abandon my preferences just because they make you feel funny inside. To each his own, as my great crazy aunt Mary would say.

We see sex used to sell everything --from quick cooking rice to tiling grout-- and yet we demand --would even legislate-- everyone want the same kind of sex in the bedroom. How nuts is that? We want your money, but not your joy. That's the take-away, folks.

So. If this is you, if you are curious and frustrated with your concepts of "good sex" and emotional intimacy --if you feel bad about what you're getting (or not getting), if you have body fat/good cake dilemmas, how about a little Planet Waves for what ails ya?

Here's a good place to start: Body Image: Beyond the Gospel According of Darkness. A talk about body image and sexual chemistry.

And another great article: Unraveling The Mystery of Self-Esteem.

And if you're going for the full degree: A Crazy Little Thing Called Compersion. (If you were taught that unconditional love meant Jesus hanging on the cross, just try letting your lover have his own sexual fantasies/experience without judgment and without including you at the center.)

Still to come: Venus encounters Jupiter. Hooray.

how astrology (almost) saved my sanity: the epilogue

Major transit periods like the one I experienced these past few years are complex, hairy-scary, and monumentally painful times. In fact, I had lived through something similar to this last period back in the mid-90's when Pluto was moving into Sagittarius. It was like a firestorm on top of an earthquake --as if I was running from flame to flame, never able to get my bearings. But I eventually found a foothold in life. I'm here, aren't I? I knew if I could make it through that storm, I'd make it through this storm, too.

This storm, however, had one difference, and that difference is difficult to articulate. But I'll try.

The difference was The Beloved. No, not the pixie dust dream man I had fashioned in my head. No, it was something deeper than that. Sometimes people come into your life and they challenge every assumption you held about yourself. These people do not have even have to be in your life. They can be characters from a novel, or a movie. Or they can be someone you read about or work with for a short time. In other words, you don't have to have an intimate relationship with this person to be affected by them.

But what these people offer is inspiration. Sometimes that inspiration makes no logical sense. I suppose that's why we call it inspiration --there's some spirit at work. That's Neptune, too. The best sort of Neptune.

I wanted to be a better person when I thought about this man, The Beloved. I still think of him this way, actually. Not because he is perfect. He is not perfect, and I don't think I ever completely saw him as such. But when I thought of him, I wanted something more for myself and I wanted to change. I was hungry, and in my obsession I nearly "ate" him, but was I really wanted was a taste of my true self. Some people do this to us. I think we can count ourselves a little bit blessed when we encounter someone who makes us want to be that better person, even if it at the time it feels a little bit like a curse.

About that time I also told a friend that I wanted to "find my voice". She didn't say it then, but she knew it: if I did find my voice, everything would change. And everything did change. Is still changing, in fact. All of this --the hunger for a true voice, the urge to become a better, a more whole person-- is the positive side of Pluto: the power to transform. Not superficial change, but the kind of change that rearranges you down to the cellular level.

And this is the fascinating thing about studying astrology --you get to see the contact points that speak to one another --between you and the moment, or between you and another human. You get to see the soul in process and the triggers that catalyze it's development. If we can sort out the different voices demanding their authority over the situation, then we can get to the business of growth and diminish some of the distractions. That's a gift.

As time passes, we encounter minor transits that trigger new points of personal growth built on the back of older, major transits. The lunar eclipse over New Year's is a good illustration: boom! I got hit with a sudden upsurge of neurotic-crazy making emotion I had to sort out quick-quick. With the lessons of the Pluto-Moon transit behind me, and a few rounds to my favorite astro sites for perspective, I got reoriented faster. Didn't make some of the dumber mistakes I indulged in the past. I'm growing.

So there you go. A little epilogue about my (nearly) lost sanity. Hope it helped.

no pink cupcakes: adjustments this week and the tipping point of June 2010

The tipping point this year will be the Uranus/Jupiter conjunction on June 8th, followed by the Big Shift of August.

I'm not going to make specific predictions about what this summer will bring, but I have been thinking about it for a year and half now, and I do know this:

• Summer 2010 will be a summer when people make decisions, or will be forced into decisions. These decisions will be life-shifting choices.
• Uranus and Jupiter will meet at zero degrees Aries. This is the Aries Point, where the personal meets the political. Whatever happens here will have a public and private influence.
• Aries is THE action/initiation/pioneer sign. Aries is not into second place finishes, diffidence or hunkering down.
• Aries is a declaration of self: I AM is a declaration of identity. We will declare some new form of identity. For some people this will be a big deal; others will be simply adopting a new radical stance in place of their old radical stance. Your mileage will vary according to personality and circumstance.
• We've been working towards this for a year already.
• It's not a disaster.

This weekend we'll have another Saturn/Pluto exact square. The next Saturn/Pluto square is in August. So this is yet another adjustment in a long series of initiatory shifts towards a new adventure and/or identity that will begin to emerge in the summer.

Saturn/Pluto squares always demand we sober up and make plans. If we don't, then someone else will make plans for us, and with Saturn/Pluto aspects those plans don't involve pink frosted cupcakes and a cool glass of lemonade.

People, ideals, and ideas form the backdrop of these shifts. This is Aquarius activity, which we're still in the thick of until 2011.

Right now many of us are trying to get clear about who to trust and why to trust them. Some of us are playing with possibilities of new associations, new identities, new group work and new people to play with.

This is all Neptune in Aquarius (which has been with us since 1998), finishing up it's last degrees and preparing for a new social plan.

But Neptune prefers not to define anything and definitely won't color inside the lines. So if you feel the information you're getting through the mass media (Aquarius), is nothing but mirror tricks and squishy "facts", you're not paranoid. If you're believing all the "facts", however, I might say you're gullible. Never assume, is my motto concerning all things Neptunian. Walk in that other person's shoes, is also a good Neptunian motto. Think a bit before you react. Have a heart.

I don't have a big story to tell you here. You just need to know that if people are breaking off and if stuff feels like it's getting pulled out of your life and you feel like it's shit or get off the pot time, know you're not the only one. Maybe you have outgrown or simply don't need the circumstances and friends you currently know. Maybe you need to rethink what sentimental or power-trippy attachments are holding you back. Maybe you need to get your finances straight. Maybe you need to go apply for that business license...Or give up the cigarettes. Whatever. You're working toward a new role in the world.

The question behind all this change is: What kind of person do you want to be and what will you do to work for that?

You have until summer to get clearer about this. Come June, we'll all be making bigger choices. The adjustments we make now will influence how pro-active or reactive those choices will feel to us.

a christmas tune for a pisces moon

All I ever get for Christmas is blue...

eve of the new moon and where's my hobby horse?

As I type this, the Moon is exactly, and I mean exactly to the arc minute in full lip lock with Venus. Just a degree away from my Ascendant. How charming. Venus rising for me. No wonder I'm feeling the need to reach out from my self-imposed break from the world and touch someone. [wink] And no --I did not plan this. Synchronicity just kills me.

Ah, there she goes now, the Moon is separating...Adieu, sweet Moon! We'll meet again.

Really, if you've got a Mac, go get yourself an Io Sprite. It's a whole lot of fun watching this stuff in the sky do its thing, real time. Even on a cloudy night. Seeing how quickly the Moon moves, for instance, deeply impresses upon me the sensitivity and importance of the Moon's placement in any chart. With a toy like the Sprite you can finally see what astrologers mean when they call La Luna the second hand of the celestial clock.

Right now the Moon is at 17+ degrees Sagittarius, but by the time I have finished this paragraph it will have reached 18 degrees. Does that matter? For most, not really. What's one degree over another? But esoteric symbol systems like the Sabian images do count each degree has a distinct theme, so one degree's difference matters to them.

And because you asked, I'll tell you that this moon's Sabian symbol is about hobby horses. 

I like New Moons in Sagittarius because the sign implies new vistas, new horizons, new ideas. Fresh starts and newness everywhere! Sagittarius is not a backward looking sign at all. What happened in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas. In fact, by the time Sagittarius has made it to the plane, he's only thinking about his next adventure not the last one.

The hobby horse has multiple meanings. Some bawdy, some benign. Here, I think the Sabian interpretation emphasizes idealism and the practice that comes from working out your hopes and dreams with enthusiasm and joy. It's not nose-to-the-grindstone practice, but nose-almost-to-the-horizon practice. You know, practicing your galloping before someone hands you a real horse and saddle.

I've been thinking about this image all week. It's been a good week for me here at my friend's home in Chicago. We've had some good 'horizon' conversations about our futures, and the practical realities we're negotiating as parents.

The Venus trine Mars stuff all week has been brilliant for me, too. I'm not redefining the novel, but the words are coming quickly and my work has been very productive. And we've played theater a little, too. Not everything has happened as we'd planned, but I expected that. My host is a Fish --a Pisces girl. So she comes and she goes, we make plans and then everything goes sort of wonky and we rearrange them. But Fish are fabulous for letting you swim off for the day and not getting hung up about it. Loners like me do appreciate that; Fish folk do too.

This past day I've been particularly tired, something I've noticed at the end of dark moon phases. So it helps to have a friend who appreciates my need for alone time.

Mars is slowing down (which could account for some of my foot-dragging, too) all this week. So while New Moons imply new beginnings, Mars is about to turn retrograde. A Sun, New Moon and Mars all in fire signs is a recipe for hot enthusiasm, but your flame probably isn't so bright right now. So if you're feeling a bit low on fuel, it's not because you're already exhausted with the holidays. We'll see, but I think tomorrow you'll feel brighter. Enjoy the perk.

And about that perk: the New Moon is sextile the Jupiter/Neptune/Chiron connection in Aquarius. Lots of perkiness there. Or rather sparky thoughts. Insights, sudden vistas open when you thought some door was closed.

Think about the people you spend the most time with --or wish you spent the most time with. This is an Aquarius theme, and it's been running pretty hot since last January. Something's been shifting since then, and that something is your place in your crowd, your culture, your peeps, your milieu. Whatever it is, your relationship to the people who help you do "your thing" is shifting, and has been for a long time now. Part of this is because you are shifting. (This is Pluto work, which deserves a different entry.)

December's New Moon gives you potential to shift a lot more. It's likely a mental shift, but as I've come to learn, mental adjustments precede practical implementations, often by months and years. But it's important that you see the door that's open to you now. Likely some very different people are on the other side of that door. Note the opportunity and the people. Note what you think they mean to you now. Most of all, honor the far-sighted enthusiasm of Sagittarius in your personality. (It's in there somewhere.) You don't and can't have all the information you think you need now. There's a bit of "you've got to believe" in this moment, so keep an open hand and an open heart.

In the next couple of weeks we have some hot astrological action, and my chart is loaded with contact points this month. I'm wondering a lot about it myself, but for now I'm content to observe this new moon on it's own merits and think about my shifting future. 

Happy New Moon.

veterans' day, usa

Veteran's Day this year is particularly emotional, even for those of us who don't have a loved one in the service. Yesterday as I drove my daughter to a doctor's appointment, I listened to the memorial service for the men and women killed at Fort Hood. On the astrological anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I found myself, again, heavy-hearted over the madness of war. It's a form of melancholy I'm susceptible to, and one that responds well to rituals like memorial services and tunes played on a trumpet in a minor key.

Do I have any illusions that humans will ever abandon violence? No. No illusions there. We could sit through a hundred million memorial services and I still don't think we'd ever abandon that place in each of us that lusts to harm. I'm the sort of person that believes it's in each of us, waiting for the right moment to erupt. This belief doesn't make me paranoid; on the contrary, acknowledging my uglier self is an act of mental health --sort of like keeping one's friends close, but one's enemies closer. Yes, we can be our own worst enemies.

Which brings up a lot of questions about the relationship of Islam to modern psychiatry: how do each reconcile the shadow self to being a "good" person? Are there contradictions in definition, approach, outcomes? I'm very curious because the astrology of the shooting points to a sort of primal scream. Eric pointed this out to me in the Fort Hood shooting discussion thread at Planet Waves: Mars is trine both Pholus AND Hylonome. And Hylonome is a centaur planet and a marker for self-inflicted wounds, and self-imposed grief. Think of the custom of funeral keening and you get an image of Hylonome at work.

This week the Sun and Mercury passes through the last degrees of Scorpio and moves on to touch Pisces in Uranus and the South Node in Cancer in a grand water trine. We experience a lacuna of emotion-laden waters --self-referential, self-absorbed, self-contained. I say "lacuna" because grand trines so easily speak to one another, that this part of us tends to skip over useful information offered elsewhere in our experience. Here, we move from a deeply personal (Sun and Mercury in Scorpio) feeling to an universally compassionate (Uranus in Pisces) feeling, and then on to the backwaters of family history, our homeland, and most profoundly, our past patterns developed from feelings of safety and belonging (South Node in Cancer). 

Or you could be cagey and secretive (Scorpio Sun/Mercury) about possibly paranoid and definitely unpredictable/unlikely/surprising emotions you can't define (Pisces/Uranus), but you're pretty sure they've got something to do with your mom/childhood (South Node in Cancer). And you stew in this (grand water trine).

There's more than one way to float this river.

For Americans who observe Veteran's Day this pattern points to our own feelings of safety as a nation; we were "born" under the sign of Cancer, and for the next 18 months as the South Node passes through the sign of Cancer Americans will think a lot about our past patterns of how we nurtured and protected our own. Appropriately, this seems to have crystalized around two issues --our collective health (the health care legislation) and now, our combat soldiers sent out, ostensibly, to protect our country. (Many of whom do not support this current war but feel pressured to keep silent.)

Fortunately the Saturn-Pluto square is FORCING us to integrate these feelings --somehow, some way-- into a new sense of identity. This is the beginning of a long growth cycle for all of us. Some folks are really working hard at this; others, not so much. Have a care for the folks who resist these changes.  There's something here they don't want to acknowledge, which is the ugly side of themselves. And what we don't like about ourselves, we ascribe to others: "I'm not the problem, you are!" 

You know, it's how wars start.

Peace to all who've lost a loved one to war.

"Snow Angel" by Over the Rhine

(Words and Music: Detweiler)

Once upon a winter
It seems so long ago
My one and only love and I
Fell down upon the snow

And as the dusk was falling
From our gray and goose down sky
We heard the old cathedral bells
Ring out our lullaby

Snow angel, snow angel
Someday I’m gonna fly
This cold and broken heart of mine
Will one day wave goodbye
Goodbye to this cruel wicked world
And all the tears I’ve cried
Snow angel, snow angel
I’ll meet you in the sky

The rumors of a distant war
Called my true love’s name
He packed his leather suitcase
And spoke no word of blame
We walked awhile together
I tried to hide my fear
He told me not to be afraid
And whispered in my ear

Snow angel, snow angel
Someday I’m gonna fly
This cold and broken heart of mine
Will one day wave goodbye
Goodbye to this cruel wicked world
And all the tears I’ve cried
Snow angel, snow angel
I’ll meet you in the sky

They brought my love home from the war
In a cart pulled by white mules
The Christmas bells rang out that day
Oblivious as fools

And as the snow began to fall
I kissed his frozen face
They told me in his woolen coat
His last few words were placed

Snow angel, snow angel
Someday I’m gonna fly
This cold and broken heart of mine
Will one day wave goodbye
Goodbye to this cruel wicked world
And all the tears I’ve cried
Snow angel, snow angel
I’ll meet you in the sky