the weather inside me

dark moonings: "I think it's your heart"

Mars had definitely gone direct, but I'm hearing stories of major, sudden hirings and firings --or of folks plotting, plotting, plotting...

It's a picture of a major cycle shift emerging under a dark moon, I think. And well, geez, we got that T-square between Venus, Pluto and Saturn immediately after Mars turned direct. Lots of power plays and more than a few grudges outed, from what I hear. Luckily none have landed on me. Nothing feels entirely "up with people" yet. But gut level realizations galore. Dark moon.

A writer friend who's recently been in the hospital for heart trouble is really struggling right now. She sent me this passionate plea overnight, which evolved into a discussion about her heart and the current Leo/Mars cycle: Leo traditionally rules the human heart, both the physical and the emotional heart, and frequently physical heart trouble is a sign that emotional heart trouble preceded it by years. But who hasn't had their heart broken before?

Here's a bit of her response, which began with an unsubtle defense of her ipod purchase. I've highlighted the Leo relevant ideas:

...I used payment for my stories in the Sistahfaith anthology. Those stories broke my heart. And it's so odd, that right after I read my copy, these massive upheavals began to happen, and I've realized I've built an armor of false identities around me. And they must go. My heart is broken, but the doctors can't find the fissures. Yet, they keep saying, "I think it's your heart." I'm beginning to believe my heart is saying, it is time for you to let me see the sun. I've desired to be a saint. Thomas Merton said, to be a saint is to be yourself. Maybe that is what I lost. Myself.

A new friend of mine just returned from a life shattering trip to India to study with a Sufi Master. He told this story about walking to find this memorial site, and getting lost in a very hostile environment. The men on this seedy side of town made them take off their shoes because it was holy ground, and then they tried to charge them all this money to get them back. It was becoming very tense, when this man, dressed in pristine white walks up to them. He says, in perfect English, "What are you doing here?" When Steve said that, I thought, isn't that so much of the spiritual life. God saying, "What are you doing here?" In some hostile environment where you're treated like you're a fool, and where you are totally disrespected, and all you can say is, "I was looking for something, and then realized I was lost."

What are you doing here? What a question! I wouldn't file it entirely under "spiritual" but it surely begins there. Leo shows us how to respect ourselves. But failing to respect ourselves, Leo is perfectly capable of forging the finest armor of false pride and false identity.

Not that we have many examples of true self-respect to follow. We've got false pride and false identity models galore, though. Most of us work in hostile environments where people fail to respect us. We're lucky, in fact blessed, when we find compassionate and caring people. It's just so rare in these days of endemic, programmed mass-fear.

If someone said to you, "You've got to respect yourself," where would you begin? Who would you look to as a model of this elusive trait?

And what the hell does self-respect look like anyway? I think it looks something like a heart. What makes your heart pump? What drives you like nothing else --you know, in those moments when nobody's around to grade you, guard you or give you props, a paycheck or a pat on the back? It's like some core energy cell that never fails us.

Leo is represented by the Sun. The Sun is the core source of energy in our SOLAR system. When we fail to recognize the core of our own energy, we fail to contact the core source of the physical world in which we live. It's like we're just not plugged in.

But we can pretend. With Leo, it's all to easy to pretend.

Mars Direct: A Vision

A lovely essay on the potential hidden within the Mars Direct days ahead of us:

I envision a world in which we grant one another the freedom to love ourselves, and to love ourselves freely in the presence of others: an intention field of mutual self-forgiveness, for the sake of awareness, freedom and love; for happiness and existence. For relief from the unnecessary desperation that so many endure, and a gateway to something beyond.

This means holding the space open for others to forgive themselves (the opposite of judgment), and finding the space where it is possible to forgive ourselves: for all that we’ve denied that we wanted, all that we’ve refused that was true, all that we’ve done in the name of whatever, when we wanted something sincerely, that we knew we could have; wanted simple pleasure and denied ourselves; wanted to grant simple pleasure to others and denied them; when we wanted contact and denied that truth.

For the rest of the essay, click here to Planet Waves.

mars in leo direct: rock on w'id yer bad self

A-a-a-a-a-a-a-yy-a-a-a!!! Mars goes direct today, bringing out a lil' of the Tarzan in all of us. From my time zone, it's done. Men, especially, should be feeling the shift. This is a big transit for 2010. Something is coming unstuck.

Four things you need to know right now about this change:

1. We're now retreading ground that began back in mid-October. Think back to October 17th(ish) and what projects and ideas were in play back then. You will begin reworking them now. Some will get tossed; some will get revamped; some will finally move forward.
2. People everywhere will want to bust a move, major. Some people will do this well, and others, well, will come off more George of the Jungle than Tarzan, if you know what I mean.
3. Some people will be gettin' their groove on (artistic, social, sexual) and some people will just be flat out angry. Mars can work either way. How you decide depends on how you're handling desire and ego identification. Desire and ego identification is something we usually attribute to things outside our bodies, as if someone or something else is forcing/beguiling/seducing us into feeling something we "should"  or "ought" to feel or be. This is the engine of advertising. And because our culture is immersed in advertising we no longer question this approach. In fact, we have begun to assume that this is how all desire functions. The ubiquity of advertising produces an insidious assumption that all relationships are based on manipulation. So we withdraw from our true feelings, whether these are emotion or physical feelings. Many people will want to act on desire, but will still use the old "sales" paradigm that will leave you feeling like the exchange was some kind of quid pro quo deal, or worse, a "what have you done for me lately?" demand. You will know if someone did their Mars retrograde well if they "own" their desire: ie, speak from their own feelings and acknowledge their own desires without making you the "reason" for their desires.
4. Watch out for "unvectored thrust". I got this phrase from an retired Air Force colonel --it's Mars all over. Technically, it describes a pilot who's lost directional control of his plane. But this spring it describes the person who can't get a grip on where this desire thing is coming from or heading to. They want something, they just don't know how to get it. Here's a big bonus tip fer you: MOST people will be functioning on "unvectored thrust". (#2 tells why)
5. Our actions this month will set in motion much, much bigger developments to come this summer. For the rest of March Leo Mars is STILL activating the Aries Point and continuing to work a productive sextile to Saturn in Libra. This is generating much needed adjustments to our relationships, work, and friendships on every level --personal, professional, national. By August we'll really see the fruit of these adjustments, so be VERY honest about what you're after.

My final thought is this: rock the boat, but don't tip the boat over. If it's good, then rock it --go for it. Get a good vector and don't tip the boat over. Rock on w'id yer bad self, baby.

who's the cat? you the cat! (mars direct today!)

Could I possibly be feeling it already? Short post this early morning as I was out having lovely time last night and actually feeling a bit of the old flash. For now, just think "Who's the cat? YOU the cat!" a la Alex the Lion, and thus prep yourself for your moves.

venus, on point[e] and a royal game for you

The Aries Point, that is --where the personal meets the political. This morning in the US Venus has crossed over and is now a 0+ degrees Aries --the Aries Point.

In fact the astro news this week is all about Mars turning direct just two degrees from an exactly 120 degree angle from its cohort and lover, Venus. These two are absolutely primed for spring break.

But back to Venus at 0+ degrees Aries.

Just as I'm typing this, NPR is airing a story of the role of women in today's Iraqi parliamentary elections. Apparently 25% of seats in the Iraqi parliament must be held by women; they're saying that's a legal quota that might, just might, change that country's marriage and divorce laws. Okay. That's a Aries Point story with a Venusian theme. So, too, are the courageous hearts of the Iraqi people defiantly showing up to vote despite some terrible bombing meant to scare them away from polling stations.

I'm calling this a reflection of the Aries Venus-Leo Mars trine right now. Throw in the Moon in Sagittarius --un-aspected to Mars and Venus, but in a fire sign, nonetheless-- and you got serious sympatico fire, folks. Very harmonious and ready to blaze.

A few minutes earlier, a different Venus showed up on NPR, the Venus of resources (money, in this instance): Icelanders voted to reject the terms of bank bailout repayment. 

Several Icelandic banks collapsed in the fall of 2008, most notably an Internet bank called Icesave, which offered high interest rates and was especially popular in Britain and the Netherlands. When Icesave collapsed, the British and the Dutch governments compensated their angry savers to prevent riots on their own streets, but then billed Iceland for that compensation. The government in Reykjavik agreed to pay, prompting a citizen's rebellion that culminated in Saturday's referendum — the first in Iceland's modern history.

Again, the fire: No way, Jose!

Election days are solidly Aries Point activity. The Aries Point reminds us these moments have far-reaching consequences. Or will have as we approach the big Jupiter-Uranus conjunction at 0+ Aries this June 8th.

Here, it feels a lot like early spring fever. Even with the ever-present wind, we can feel a little warmth coming through and that's making a lot of people happier. 

There's no such thing as second place when you're dealing with fire energy, so don't expect folks to go cowering into a corner in the coming days. It doesn't have to be combative energy, though. It could be unspecified enthusiasm that misses the mark. Or, you could have a raging case of retrograde Mars that can't wait for the brake to release. Or you just be horny. It's nearly spring, after all.

Mark this feeling the next few days, and note what's setting off your own internal fires. This will be Clue 1 and Clue 2 about what Mars in Leo is teaching you this year.

And if that advice isn't specific enough for you, try this little mind game: If you were King/Queen of [insert name]-land, what would you decree?

RULES OF THE GAME:

1. You may not make decrees for anyone else. The rules are only for YOU. Again, this is all about you, not anyone or anything else. You lose the game if your decree is about controlling anything or anyone outside of yourself. Game Over. Bonk!

2. The decrees are just for you. If you do this in the right spirit, you'll find you're giving yourself permission to just be you.

3. They must be positive statements: "I decree that second helpings of mashed potatoes are good for me."

4. They must be personal statements: "Dang, I've got gorgeous legs!"

5: They must be specific: "I decree that I need one hour of playtime every day."

So. How 'bout it? What do you decree in the Land of Me?

Returning soon with the Mars goes direct (takes the brake off) report...

Photo: AFP.

Illustration: Kevin Woodson.

tense enough yet?

The Moon is in Leo and just rolled past that Mars in Leo who's stuck in reverse gear, spinning his wheels and so not happy about it. Frustration, impatience, and the general itch to get something started is likely on your agenda if you don't have something at hand to blow off that energy.

The Pisces Sun-Jupiter sextiles that era-defining Pluto in Capricorn, which is really productive, imaginative mind-expanding heart-enlarging stuff. Where are we heading? Let's pretend! They form a Yod to this morning's Leo Moon, so --errr-- there's probably something at hand that's still getting the squeeze in your ego structure --or yer heart. Something needs an adjustment; something's not yet ready for prime time. And you're probably feeling touchy about after that Moon pass over Mars.

Me? It's getting me, too. Just to show you that observing the astrology doesn't mean I don't listen to the lessons. I stepped into the fray at Planet Waves. I suppose I was polite about it, but one of my pet annoyances popped up, and like someone who can't pass by a Whack-A-Mole game without grabbing a mallet, I swatted. Not an especially wise move right now if you can't finesse it with uber-diplomacy.

Could our Leo president have planned the Heath Care Summit under more interesting skies? A Leo, with a Leo Mars in the spin cycle, under a Leo Moon? Dang...step back, jack.

Full Moon arrives in two days. I would encourage you to stay cool, but that may be just heaping one more frustration on your back. So I'll just encourage you to find healthy outlets for your energy. Will be back (tonight hopefully) with the Full Moon bill for you.

Illustration: prep sketch for Hercules Wrestles A Lion, Jun-Pierre Shiozawa

the story so far...the (long) late february 2010 overview

If you're just joining us, here’s a summary on the current long and mid-term astro scene:

Pluto-Saturn square: it’s still on --the hard realities, the call to courage, the fear, the projecting of shadows-- but Saturn’s moving back into the Virgo degrees, so we’re just getting a second look at relationship “stuff” that popped up since last October. Count it a second chance at important conversations and decisions.

Neptune-Chiron in Aquarius: the end of an era, or as Gawker proclaimed it, “The Fake Decade”. Finally, we're getting it. Chiron’s not done with his work here, but these past few weeks have certainly given me some unusual views into inconvenient “truths”. And talk about a wild dream life. Oy. I need a break.

Jupiter in Pisces: Connections, identifications, and professions with and of encouragement and hope are totally available if you want them. As are big creative possibilities. Can you be the bigger person? Sure you can. (As I type this, I’m listening to Alan Simpson joking it was time to hold hands and jump into the wine-dark sea --of the budget deficit. Poetic water imagery as political threat? Only with Pisces.)

Avoid the paranoid and the generally detached from reality. This is the dark side of Pisces and not a comment on Mr. Simpson. Uranus in Pisces (at the end of the sign, now at 25+ degrees), is pulling punches with those teetering on the edge of the Fear Abyss. A lot people are completely convinced this is the end of the world. No, it's just the end of the world as they know it, a fact that's microcosmically true every day of our lives. Still, we can't ignore the big, big challenges we face as a country. It's just that fear is not gonna get us closer to a sane deficit, safe highways, or decent health care for all.

On a related note: if you’re a Pisces or have personal planets in Pisces, take care with substances this year--right on down to caffeine, MSG, BHT and food coloring. I’m serious.

And finally, Mars, still retrograde in Leo: Mars is really slowing down now, and by the full moon on the 28th will have reached it’s retrograde direct degree. So if you feel some kind of gear grinding or stuckness, that would be Mars. Ditto big case of anticipation. This is all about going backstage and reworking your self image. (My original horoscopes on the retrograde are here and here.) What you're feeling could be a case of stage fright, or could be a case of retrenchment before the big advance come March. Circumstances vary.

If you know where Mars is passing through your chart, just ease up on yourself in that area. Strategize, visualize. Play with any new ideas that popped up with the Neptune/Chiron bingle last week AND the Full Moon in Leo in mid-January. What do you want to do with that new knowledge?

Strangely, if we’re not handling our own nervousness or irritation well, we seem to invite similarly nervous, irritating people into our lives. Not always true, but you could play with that idea and observe other people’s responses to your energy right now.

A note to men, or anyone who cares about a man: I'm not a guy, nor do I play one on TV, so I'm not gonna pretend I know what this feel like for you. My thoughts are based on my own reading, and the thoughts shared by men at other serious astrology forums.

Mars retrograde is especially challenging for men; after all, Mars is THE planet of the male impulse, the anima, the dude in you. Here’s the bottom line: the man in your life (could be you!) may or may not know what Mars retrograde is doing, but it's affecting him nonetheless --rearranging his ego, his self-image, his heart, his leadership instincts, his pride for his pride (or whatever substitutes for his creative output, progeny or no).

Mars retrograde is all backwards and inhibiting, frustrating and often confusing for many men. You could be angry, frustrated, scattered, inconsistent, or distant --really, really distant. Especially now as we approach the incredibly slow stationing direct motion. Imagine trying to save the damsel in distress who's stranded on the opposite side of a molasses pit. And the molasses pit is your expectations about what guys should do, could do, did do --starting with your dad and then every significant male authority figure you've known in your life. Now imagine how difficult this time could be if you never really had a solid male figure who taught you what to do when damsels lie on the other side of molasses pits. McGuyver never had it so bad. This "self" thing won't get fixed with a Leatherman, some chewing gum and three paper clips. Think about that for a moment.

If the man in your life doesn’t know what’s going on, or they’re resistant to introspection, you get a guy who needs to take on the world instead of himself. This might get internalized as heart problems; Leo rules the heart. As Leo practically grinds to a halt, Evan Bayh announced today that he’s lost heart in his work in the Senate and will retire. This is not good for the already straggling Democrat majority in the Senate.

The WORST example of this impulse also showed up in the news today: Andrew Stack, an enraged, suicidal man (badly managed Mars retrograde?) who’s sense of manhood and pride (Leo) was threatened by the limitations (Saturn) imposed by a government (Pluto in Capricorn) agency, the IRS, flew his personal airplane into an IRS office.

No doubt his actions were exacerbated by feelings of paranoia and doom emerging from those who’ve been embracing the end of the world (Uranus in Pisces) scenarios. He's not the first man who's wanted to take on the IRS with violence, but as we're revisiting a Saturn-Pluto alignment that last appeared fall of 2001, I'm saddened but not shocked that Stack chose to mimic the violence of that tragedy by flying his plane into an IRS office in Austin, Texas. Note --this was his own Piper airplane, and thus, he was not one of the huddled masses spewing underclass resentment. This was a wealthy guy by any standard. Do you have Piper small craft docked in your local airport hanger?

On that note, I looked at Glenn Beck’s astrology last week. He’s got Venus at 29+ degrees Pisces, the last degree of the zodiac, aka, the end of the world (sort of). In short, he’s in love with the end of the world. Yes. Have a look at his wiki and you’ll see a guy obsessed with eschatology. We'll hear much more about his obsession come spring. Bank on it.

Sigh. So play safe out there folks. You don’t have to be paranoid. You don’t have to push people around. I know so many people who are experimenting with huge new possibilities for their lives. Really big thoughts. I've got one friend who was making good money as a black-jack dealer, but she's leaving the industry to work at a raw-food retreat. She'd been wanting to walk away, but it wasn't until she broke her wrist in four places over the January eclipse that the decision was forced on her. A break like that is a career ender for a card dealer. But the end didn't start there: as she became mentally and emotionally more stable, her tips took a nose dive and she knew why --unhealthy people only reward their own kind. She's a Cancer rising, so Leo is working through her second house of money and self-esteem.

If you're moving towards healthier self-esteem, know that some people will find this a turn-off and not know why. They would prefer you functioning as their food source for whatever emotional, financial, or practical service you give them. And you're gonna catch some flak for this. For my friend, this translated into lost income. If you're hanging with people who pay you for being as immature, selfish, and needy as they are, you're going to face a loss of something --a contract, a contact? Or you may face losing old friends. These are not easy losses at first because they represent an old image you've probably carried with you for years. But this whole year is forcing all of us to rethink the old ways. Those who refuse to change won't be any fun to hang with anyway. Keep that in mind as you grow and experiment with the new you.

The time is also exciting because it presents the kind of risks that demand truly creative thinking and not a little paradigm shifting/shattering going on in that mix. But the risk doesn’t disappear just because the adventure holds happy possibility. So compassion is very much in need right now, too. Compassion that entends both ways --to you and to those around you-- and patience.

In that spirit, I’m taking a few days off from this blog to address some work at my side. One project is a revamp of this site, another some notes for the upcoming NCGR conference...and then daily ephemera and sticky fingerprints that come with motherhood. I need to shift my focus for a bit. Maybe I'll actually go for a walk. What a thought.

I’ll be back before the Full Moon to talk about the Venus-Uranus conjunction and early March events.

Until then, have a visit with any of the forecasters on my link list. They’re good people who’ll be happy to serve your astro needs.

Ciao.

Art: lisacongdon.com

Photo: seattlepi.com

All other photos: Philippe Halsman

go blow your horn

This Wednesday we have a lot of inspiring, exploring action in the sky. Aquarian Neptune and Chiron are in an exact (to the minute) conjunction, and a Pisces Venus and Jupiter are still hand in hand. Mars has moved past that strange but productive Dreamtime Yod, and the Moon is now in action oriented Aries ready to do something about the lessons we've discovered over the past two weeks.

Go blow your horn today. Where, when, or with whom is your choice. Blow it fortissimo or pianissimo. Just find the tune inside you and let it fly.

mercury in aquarius

Just this week Mercury finally moved out of Capricorn where it's been since December 6th.

Mercury in Aquarius wants to connect to a big audience, and is often found in the charts of people who want to share ideas about a innovative or utopian ideal.

Martin Luther King, Jr. is an example of this. His Mercury in Aquarius is peregrine, though. This means his Mercury is unconnected by major aspect to any other planet in his chart. That's a fixed sign (Aquarius) with a highly focused voice. And the focus? Telling people about The Dream. 

Mercury in Aquarius functions like a big radio, both receiving and broadcasting. It's got some serious buzz. Sometimes the signal it pulls in is a dream, like King's, but it could just as easily be a nightmare. Aquarius can also produce real fascists --people who think they have THE answer and use that against their audience by demanding mass conformity. Those antennae don't have a conscience.

Mesmerism comes to mind. But to truly commit masso grando profundo hypnosis you'd need something like Neptune at hand, by transit or natally.

Oh we have one?

Just over there at 26 degrees Aquarius? It's been in Aquarius for like, nine years? You don't say. Mass hypnosis for nine years. Wow. Has it been smokey in here or what? Didn't notice that until recently...

These are the dwindling days of this particular mass hypnosis: Chiron and the Sun's conjunction this month is blowing away some of the smoke we've inhaled these past nine years. We can see better what illusions we bought into, if we want to. Some people like their illusions a little too well, you know.

So count this Aquarian Mercury the harbinger of new ideas. Adjust your antennae. Embrace the buzz. It's a great tool. This weekend as it opposes the ultimate "re-tooling" Mars in Leo, fixate on all the options available around you. You have resources and ideas available now, and if you can dial in a good signal you can use these resources to boost your personal individuation without inhaling another lungful of old Neptunian smoke.

Good signal: Martin Luther King, Jr.

Bad signal: Benny Hinn and few folks getting slain in the spirit --or not?

the february 13th aquarius new moon: It's a little crazy, but it's a start...

New Moon on Saturday, February 13th!

I'm having a hard time putting this New Moon into words. New Moons are about new starts, but this one is a little strange.

First off, whatever life innovation is in your sights --health, home, family, love, work, creativity-- gets a big Cosmic Kiss this coming week. If you're willing to experiment, do. Listen to what you've been learning about your personal preferences; you'll know what step to take.

So here's my visual summation --Captain Kirk in tights. The theme? It's a little crazy, but it's a start.

Kirk here has got the vibe. Easy into the change. Sometimes just the toe shoes and tights are all you need. You know, dress up a bit and then go hang out on the Bridge. See how others respond to you. See how the tights feel. It's just a dress rehearsal for this part of the New You. Experiment.

With Valentine's stuff all wrapped up in this astrology, you might have a relationship question on deck now. My answer: Yes, as long as you keep yourself honest.

This means, primarily, honesty about your attraction to the Other and honestly about your devotion to a New You. Since October (even more since late December) Leo's been teaching us a lot about what our hearts really want and what truly inspires us. Don't deny that or distort that. This is a rehearsal for new directions. Be clear about keeping the conversation open and the intentions on the surface. There's a little bit o' Instant Karma coming this summer, so play nice and you'll like life a lot more come August.

For everyone: We've got 3 more months of Leo Mars, so more ideas are on the way. Focus on the experimental nature of the moment. Imagination and a playful Piscean kookiness will keep all the tete-a-tetes on the right waves length.

You know it sounds crazy, but it is a start...