Major transit periods like the one I experienced these past few years are complex, hairy-scary, and monumentally painful times. In fact, I had lived through something similar to this last period back in the mid-90's when Pluto was moving into Sagittarius. It was like a firestorm on top of an earthquake --as if I was running from flame to flame, never able to get my bearings. But I eventually found a foothold in life. I'm here, aren't I? I knew if I could make it through that storm, I'd make it through this storm, too.
This storm, however, had one difference, and that difference is difficult to articulate. But I'll try.
The difference was The Beloved. No, not the pixie dust dream man I had fashioned in my head. No, it was something deeper than that. Sometimes people come into your life and they challenge every assumption you held about yourself. These people do not have even have to be in your life. They can be characters from a novel, or a movie. Or they can be someone you read about or work with for a short time. In other words, you don't have to have an intimate relationship with this person to be affected by them.
But what these people offer is inspiration. Sometimes that inspiration makes no logical sense. I suppose that's why we call it inspiration --there's some spirit at work. That's Neptune, too. The best sort of Neptune.
I wanted to be a better person when I thought about this man, The Beloved. I still think of him this way, actually. Not because he is perfect. He is not perfect, and I don't think I ever completely saw him as such. But when I thought of him, I wanted something more for myself and I wanted to change. I was hungry, and in my obsession I nearly "ate" him, but was I really wanted was a taste of my true self. Some people do this to us. I think we can count ourselves a little bit blessed when we encounter someone who makes us want to be that better person, even if it at the time it feels a little bit like a curse.
About that time I also told a friend that I wanted to "find my voice". She didn't say it then, but she knew it: if I did find my voice, everything would change. And everything did change. Is still changing, in fact. All of this --the hunger for a true voice, the urge to become a better, a more whole person-- is the positive side of Pluto: the power to transform. Not superficial change, but the kind of change that rearranges you down to the cellular level.
And this is the fascinating thing about studying astrology --you get to see the contact points that speak to one another --between you and the moment, or between you and another human. You get to see the soul in process and the triggers that catalyze it's development. If we can sort out the different voices demanding their authority over the situation, then we can get to the business of growth and diminish some of the distractions. That's a gift.
As time passes, we encounter minor transits that trigger new points of personal growth built on the back of older, major transits. The lunar eclipse over New Year's is a good illustration: boom! I got hit with a sudden upsurge of neurotic-crazy making emotion I had to sort out quick-quick. With the lessons of the Pluto-Moon transit behind me, and a few rounds to my favorite astro sites for perspective, I got reoriented faster. Didn't make some of the dumber mistakes I indulged in the past. I'm growing.
So there you go. A little epilogue about my (nearly) lost sanity. Hope it helped.
