the weather inside me

virgo moon: embrace your inner neurotic

Welcome Virgo Moon. The Virgo Moon has a very bad rap as the ne plus ultra of neurotic cases. Anything in Virgo has this potential, but the Moon gets bonus points because it hits you right in the emotion center.

BUT. While Jupiter is sprinting through Pisces, you get a break. There's heaps of kindness and compassion right across the table from you now. Sweetness and delight. And Pluto in Capricorn is standing by Virgo's side. They're both earth signs; they like to see results from an encounter. It's like a blind date that works out.

SO. Here's my assignment. Each month when the Virgo Moon arrives you must embrace your inner neurotic.

Yes, that's right. Give him a big hug. Buy him some ice cream and tell him you think he's really swell. You know, if it weren't for your I.N. you'd be a far less memorable person and no one would be interested in telling stories about you when you're gone. Your I.N. is the reason you think heaven is boring: what would you have left to obsess about? You might as well enjoy your neurosis while you're still here on earth.

Now. Imagine yourself doing something your I.N. would never, ever admit: accept a compliment without poo-pooing the complimenter, really enjoy a hug, or forgive the 15 pounds you gained last year. Dream about the scariest thing you want right now. Dream that it all works out.

Do it just for a day. No big deal. If you I.N. complains, ruffle his hair, call him a "big galoot" and keep dreaming.

full moon courage

Courage. What makes a King out of a slave? Courage.

What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage.

What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist or the dusky dusk?

What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage.

What makes the Sphinx the 7th Wonder? Courage.

What makes the dawn come up like THUNDER?! Courage.

What makes the Hottentot so hot?

What puts the "ape" in ape-ricot?

Whatta they got that I ain't got?

Dorothy and all: Courage!

Cowardly lion: You can say that again.

how astrology (almost) saved my sanity: the epilogue

Major transit periods like the one I experienced these past few years are complex, hairy-scary, and monumentally painful times. In fact, I had lived through something similar to this last period back in the mid-90's when Pluto was moving into Sagittarius. It was like a firestorm on top of an earthquake --as if I was running from flame to flame, never able to get my bearings. But I eventually found a foothold in life. I'm here, aren't I? I knew if I could make it through that storm, I'd make it through this storm, too.

This storm, however, had one difference, and that difference is difficult to articulate. But I'll try.

The difference was The Beloved. No, not the pixie dust dream man I had fashioned in my head. No, it was something deeper than that. Sometimes people come into your life and they challenge every assumption you held about yourself. These people do not have even have to be in your life. They can be characters from a novel, or a movie. Or they can be someone you read about or work with for a short time. In other words, you don't have to have an intimate relationship with this person to be affected by them.

But what these people offer is inspiration. Sometimes that inspiration makes no logical sense. I suppose that's why we call it inspiration --there's some spirit at work. That's Neptune, too. The best sort of Neptune.

I wanted to be a better person when I thought about this man, The Beloved. I still think of him this way, actually. Not because he is perfect. He is not perfect, and I don't think I ever completely saw him as such. But when I thought of him, I wanted something more for myself and I wanted to change. I was hungry, and in my obsession I nearly "ate" him, but was I really wanted was a taste of my true self. Some people do this to us. I think we can count ourselves a little bit blessed when we encounter someone who makes us want to be that better person, even if it at the time it feels a little bit like a curse.

About that time I also told a friend that I wanted to "find my voice". She didn't say it then, but she knew it: if I did find my voice, everything would change. And everything did change. Is still changing, in fact. All of this --the hunger for a true voice, the urge to become a better, a more whole person-- is the positive side of Pluto: the power to transform. Not superficial change, but the kind of change that rearranges you down to the cellular level.

And this is the fascinating thing about studying astrology --you get to see the contact points that speak to one another --between you and the moment, or between you and another human. You get to see the soul in process and the triggers that catalyze it's development. If we can sort out the different voices demanding their authority over the situation, then we can get to the business of growth and diminish some of the distractions. That's a gift.

As time passes, we encounter minor transits that trigger new points of personal growth built on the back of older, major transits. The lunar eclipse over New Year's is a good illustration: boom! I got hit with a sudden upsurge of neurotic-crazy making emotion I had to sort out quick-quick. With the lessons of the Pluto-Moon transit behind me, and a few rounds to my favorite astro sites for perspective, I got reoriented faster. Didn't make some of the dumber mistakes I indulged in the past. I'm growing.

So there you go. A little epilogue about my (nearly) lost sanity. Hope it helped.

living the astrology: the leo full moon

  Geez, louise! Do I have to be sincere and direct all the time?

Have spent half the day thinking I want to totally redesign this site --ditch the name and everything. Instead I want to call it "Madame Zolonga Speaks" and bring in a bunch of funny hokey metaphysical stuff. Very campy and fun. Play up as my alter-ego. Less Aquarian/analytical and more Leo/dramatic/fun.

I've never gone in this direction before because I think astrology suffers enough already from syrupy, kitschy websites created by folks who are being sincere. They just LOOK like they're frauds. I felt as if I needed to apologize for astrology, and by that I do not mean say "I'm sorry." So I set this up trying to play the straight man.

But I bore myself playing the straight man. I'm looking for a little fun self-dramatization these days, and there are perfectly good astrologers doing very serious therapeutic work who don't need me echoing their sentiments.

See? See? Didn't even think about this before today and yet here I am attempting to find a more suitable own role/self-expression (Leo) among my crowd of weirdos (Aquarius).

Wooooeeeeeooooo...

no pink cupcakes: adjustments this week and the tipping point of June 2010

The tipping point this year will be the Uranus/Jupiter conjunction on June 8th, followed by the Big Shift of August.

I'm not going to make specific predictions about what this summer will bring, but I have been thinking about it for a year and half now, and I do know this:

• Summer 2010 will be a summer when people make decisions, or will be forced into decisions. These decisions will be life-shifting choices.
• Uranus and Jupiter will meet at zero degrees Aries. This is the Aries Point, where the personal meets the political. Whatever happens here will have a public and private influence.
• Aries is THE action/initiation/pioneer sign. Aries is not into second place finishes, diffidence or hunkering down.
• Aries is a declaration of self: I AM is a declaration of identity. We will declare some new form of identity. For some people this will be a big deal; others will be simply adopting a new radical stance in place of their old radical stance. Your mileage will vary according to personality and circumstance.
• We've been working towards this for a year already.
• It's not a disaster.

This weekend we'll have another Saturn/Pluto exact square. The next Saturn/Pluto square is in August. So this is yet another adjustment in a long series of initiatory shifts towards a new adventure and/or identity that will begin to emerge in the summer.

Saturn/Pluto squares always demand we sober up and make plans. If we don't, then someone else will make plans for us, and with Saturn/Pluto aspects those plans don't involve pink frosted cupcakes and a cool glass of lemonade.

People, ideals, and ideas form the backdrop of these shifts. This is Aquarius activity, which we're still in the thick of until 2011.

Right now many of us are trying to get clear about who to trust and why to trust them. Some of us are playing with possibilities of new associations, new identities, new group work and new people to play with.

This is all Neptune in Aquarius (which has been with us since 1998), finishing up it's last degrees and preparing for a new social plan.

But Neptune prefers not to define anything and definitely won't color inside the lines. So if you feel the information you're getting through the mass media (Aquarius), is nothing but mirror tricks and squishy "facts", you're not paranoid. If you're believing all the "facts", however, I might say you're gullible. Never assume, is my motto concerning all things Neptunian. Walk in that other person's shoes, is also a good Neptunian motto. Think a bit before you react. Have a heart.

I don't have a big story to tell you here. You just need to know that if people are breaking off and if stuff feels like it's getting pulled out of your life and you feel like it's shit or get off the pot time, know you're not the only one. Maybe you have outgrown or simply don't need the circumstances and friends you currently know. Maybe you need to rethink what sentimental or power-trippy attachments are holding you back. Maybe you need to get your finances straight. Maybe you need to go apply for that business license...Or give up the cigarettes. Whatever. You're working toward a new role in the world.

The question behind all this change is: What kind of person do you want to be and what will you do to work for that?

You have until summer to get clearer about this. Come June, we'll all be making bigger choices. The adjustments we make now will influence how pro-active or reactive those choices will feel to us.

Magic black guy is not going to ease our worries, analysts tell us, despite the ball of light he's holding in his hand.

Yeah. Eric's finally off the Planet Waves annual report leash and now delivering entertaining commentary on the Leo Full Moon and AIG bailout testimony in Congress. (I just fat-fingered that as "testimoney". Truly.)

This is great reading if you're following the financial crisis.

Photo: From PlanetWaves/CNN.

how astrology (nearly) saved my sanity, pt.6: the pluto-moon crisis (for real)

"I don't want to be good; I want to be whole." Carl Jung

When your shocked shelf lands in your therapist's office, having not slept for two days and degenerated into a wasted wet mess, you are officially in a Crisis. But when your therapist smiles and says annoying things like "This is good," you are officially in the Pluto Crisis.

The Pluto Crisis doesn't come on with a bang. That's Uranus' style. No, Pluto is stealthy. Pluto has a long, long fuse before it goes 'boom'. And the crises comes when you stop trying to control what's happening to you and instead acknowledge your powerlessness over the transformation it's demanding. Pluto transits are non-optional, and it's better if you know that up front.

I explain it this way to some of my friends: it's like a Garden of Gesthemene experience; you get to say, "take this away, please, but if I have to, then it's thy will not my will." And they understand this image. Except they're picturing something pious and "pure" like this:

When the experience is a lot more like this.

Which is why most people freak out during Pluto transits.

Pluto transits are evolutionary. That's the goal, anyway. To evolve usually means taking a step up, becoming more conscious, more capable, less neurotic, more...together. Which is where Jung's idea comes in: not good, whole. Which means we've got to look at both the pretty and the unpretty parts of us.

The Pluto-Moon transit wants to evolve your emotional foundations --specifically your unconscious emotional foundations. Pluto-Moon transits will call into question everything we've assumed about our family of origin and every emotional "reality" we've attached to that experience.

The "Good" Person Dilemma.

Personally, I'm with Jesus on this score, "who is good but God?" Which means, none of us have got our act together. But we try anyway. We SO want to be "good" people and each of us inherit a set of expectations of what a "good" person is and does. Largely these are cultural/belief system templates overlaid upon our personalities for the benefit of simplifying our lives. Well, sort of. They solve certain problems of social identity but create other problems of individual identity. Later, we may jettison some of the family belief system model and adopt the "good person" model of our social group. But we never really let go of the whole original template, there are just more layers to our assumptions now. Pluto-Moon transits demand we get a new (hopefully) more healthy emotional foundation. Pluto-Moon transits force us to get to the bottom of the "good person" dilemma.

But before we're able to get closer to wholeness, we have to go collect the parts of us we've been shoving into the back closet of our minds. Think of it this way: our mind is a house full of stuff we've collected since childhood, but like our own homes, we prefer to show our guests the 'clean' rooms. It's bad form to look through someone's medicine cabinet or kitchen drawers, you know. But Pluto doesn't care. He comes in and slowly, gradually, determinedly pulls all the clutter from your mental closets and dumps every memory and detail in a heap before you.

full moon roar under the world tree

Full Moon this Saturday at 10+ Leo, opposed by Sun at 10+ Aquarius. Building now.

Leos everywhere will finally feel a return of the inner fire because this Full Moon is conjunct the current Mars back-peddling his way through Leo. That should feel good.

The rest of us? I think this is about connecting with your emotional intent. What's driving your motor right now? Full Moons push our emotions to the forefront, so look for signs of what emotional and ego needs are really driving your intentions. They probably deserve your attention. And under these aspect, they'll probably demand your attention.

Here's a little image for you. A very, very simple but common picture.

 Picture a woman (or a man) sitting in her 6x6 parcel of the cubicle farm. She's a devote employee (to the extent that anyone can be devoted to the act of pushing numbers from one column to another) and a she's accumulated 243 friends on Facebook (that Venus retrograde last spring brought out half her high school, you know), and life is pretty cool. She knows where she came from and she still remembers her college fight song, her first Sunday School teacher and the high school haunts. She's got her co-worker lunch posse now, and the co-ed volleyball team that plays most Saturdays. She feels like she belongs. This is Aquarian group energy.

And yet, and yet and yet... Something is missing. And that something has been missing for a year now, or more.

Maybe she feels as if she's drowning a little in the global internet collective. It's a big stream. So she's been hiding more friends on her Facebook account and paring down the notices. Maybe she wishes she could have gotten that award for Best Accountant last year. Maybe she wishes her credit card company would stop misspelling her name. Maybe she'd just like to go somewhere different for lunch AND not talk about Sex In The City for once. And maybe she's wondering what's so wrong with that, anyway?

What she wants is a little recognition. Strike that. She wants a LOT of recognition. Some genuine props, or at least an acknowledgment that she's a real person with a real heart and her own dreams, not just one of the herd. This is Mars in Leo roaring.

If the she is a "he" in this story, multiply this drive by about 5x.

So I'm here to ask you: What's driving you to distinguish yourself from the crowd? What would you do or say that says, "YOU"? How are you pushing yourself away from the standard practices of your friends? Your townies? You homies? Your FeeBees? What's driving you?

This weekend should give you both insight into and an a opportunity to express this. But, because we're working with fixed or consolidating energy, think carefully about what you're fixing in place --especially if you have planets or points in the first ten degrees of Taurus, Scorpio, Leo or Aquarius. These degrees will be most affected.

Len Wallick at Planet Waves makes this point:

The trick for each of us will be to see the distinction between legitimate issues of autonomy and arbitrary stubbornness. In turn, any group in question will be challenged to balance its standards of conduct to allow individual expression. The outcome will depend on how open the flow of communication will be. This aspect will flow into and become part of the more powerful aspects at the end of the week.

Saturn in Libra will square Pluto in Capricorn immediately after this Full Moon. This demands cooperation, an eye to fairness and awareness of the power you're brokering.

Air signs value ideas and communication. Libra and Aquarius are Air signs, which means five planets right now want to exchange ideas and communicate. Diplomacy and detachment are helpful right now because they're going to balance that big emotional fireball heading our way. If we get the balance right, we could probably negotiate the recognition and contribution our hearts really want this week.

Finally, the Sabian symbol for the Full Moon degree is about a child swinging under a well-established and sheltering tree. This is about open expression and having fun --like Leo's playfulness. It's also about the big tree that was once a little acorn. It's about legacies left for all of humanity --a very Aquarian theme.

Individual experience within a larger communal stewardship are what this Full Moon is about. What's your inner fire burning for? Where do you want to make this investment? And with whom? Are adjustments (Saturn/Pluto) needed? Choose the high road --oh please, oh please.

I end this post with a quotation from William Blackstone, whose Commentaries (published when Pluto was last in Capricorn 250 years ago) are the backbone of western jurisprudence:

The public good is in nothing more essentially interested than the protection of every individual's private rights.

That's a lifetime stewardship right there.

whatever... the current venus/mars set-up.

Okay, this is NOT as snarky as it may seem. This is actually good. With the heavy-weight professors Saturn and Pluto working toward yet another square over the weekend, we all need a little emo-detachment and willingness to cooperate.

Venus in Aquarius is your friend right now, folks. She's a little geeky and so not into emotional dramas. Will love you from afar, and mostly because you'll let her be whatever batso, strange creature she needs to be for the sake humanity. Remember, she's into being whatever everyone else is NOT into. But she's got roots in tradition and history, so don't count her out as some fizzy Gemini type who's forgotten what you said before you even said it. She may not feel really warm right now, but she hasn't forgotten you.

So if you're feeling uncharacteristically detached from your usual emotional dramas, that's the current Aquarius energy.

And she's partnered well with Mars in Leo, especially retrograde. Mars right now is into his backstage rehab mode, figuring out what this new character is about anyway. If he seems a little moody or maladjusted, well, consider this: how fragile did you feel the last time you walked into a new job or faced a new boss? This rehab work is a lot about deciding what kind of creature you're gonna be when you make your big Colossium entrance next spring and go roaring for your crowd. What kind of lion do you want to be?

Space, in this scene is a form of cooperation, methinks. What do you think?

jupiter in pisces: get your sea monkeys now!

Remember this advert? This is quintessentially my 70's childhood. The advertisement was plastered on the back of every Richie Rich and Bugs Bunny comic book I ever read. Never bought 'em, but even if I had the money, I wouldn't have spent a nickle on them. Even as a kid, I smelled the bogus factor.

But you know, for a con-job they do go the whole nine yards: food supply, care and feeding manual (which includes tips on breeding your sea monkeys, perfect for your Saruman in training) and a growth guarantee.

Reading the fine print, I can see the company who sold them: Transcience Corporation, Dept. 96-W. (Science. Pfft!) What were these things, anyway? Prawns?

But Jupiter in Pisces say, "Sea Monkeys! Really? Get me two dozen!"

Sea Monkeys. Beware of people who sell anything that smells like Sea Monkeys these days. It's a total Jupiter in Pisces thing to buy.